This Monday, Erica started kindergarten and she really loved it. So much, that after picking her up at 6 pm she was hotter than the temperature outside, and outside was really hot. Now, I think we’ve kind of set a record, because I haven’t heard of a child to spend a week home sick after the first day of kindergarten. What can I say, she surprises me every day.. 🙂
When your child’s thermometer shows 40.5 degrees, that’s the moment when you start shaking. Or at least I did, as I’ve never seen in my life a thermometer showing 40 degrees. And it’s so strange how your mind starts to work then: What should I do now to lower the temperature down at least a little bit? Where should I take her? What’s the fastest route? How much will it take to get there? Will she be ok? Everything you do then is actually faster, but somehow you feel it in slow motion. And then the most awful scenarios go through your head, you start thinking at the worst things that could happen and in the next minute you tell yourself that she has to be ok…There is a real battle in your head between optimistic and pessimistic thoughts. I had a slight tremble in my body all the way to the hospital; I don’t even know how I managed to drive there. I tried so much not to loose my temper, not to start crying….I didn’t, but I was feeling exhausted. All that tension feels like you’ve been running the marathon for hours.
No one said it’s easy to be a parent, but in these moments, it feels pretty damn hard. Erica is ok now, but after the last few days I feel the need for a vacation. The funny thing is that this “job” doesn’t allow you to take vacations. Near or far away from your kid, your mind and soul will always be with him/her, your worries never stop and no matter what, you’ll have to be there ‘for better or for worse’ and you’ll have to pull yourself together for him/her. You have to learn to be a doctor, so you can be able to react fast until a specialist can take care of him/her, you have to learn to be a teacher so you can teach him/her lots of things before he/she gets to school, you have to learn to be a children’s psychologist, to say and do the right things. Many times this “job” will push you over your limits, won’t take into consideration if you’re tired or sick, but somehow you can survive it all, because somehow, there’s no greater love in the world than this. People say that “love conquers all” and after becoming a parent you’ll realise that it’s true.
Photos: Sebastian Bacioiu Photography
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