That moment when I wished my mind had a stand-by button…

    A few nights ago I was putting my daughter to sleep earlier than usual, and, while I was sitting next to her waiting to fall asleep,  my mind was working frantically making plans of what to do with those extra 2 hours that I was going to have for myself. Yuhuu!

    You might think that my plans would involve a long bath, maybe a good book or a movie that I wanted to see. Any normal person would have done just that, but no, my mind was full of ideas like these: “I should write a new post, or do some research for the other one I wanted to write… I wonder, do I have time for a new necklace for SASH? Hmm, maybe I should this…or that” etc. For about 10 minutes I’ve made plans on how to work more… Yes, I was tired, and didn’t feel like working at all, but somehow my mind could not conceive that I can use those extra 2 hours for relaxing.

    You know that inner voice we all have, that always tells the truth and that we so many times ignore? I call it my “inner goddess” now (after reading 2 books from the Fifty Shades of Grey series) 🙂 Well, suddenly my inner voice screamed at my crazy mind busy with planning extra hours of work: “Are you crazy woman? You finally have the 2 damn hours of doing nothing, that you’ve been craving for a while now, and all you think of is work? Are you out of your mind, have you really forgotten how to relax?”.

    [Truth be told, there’s a little bit of an excuse to this crazy behavior of mine, as Erica has been sick more or less from the first day of kindergarten and my schedule has been hectic ever since. So, an extra hour of work would have helped, but exactly because I haven’t had time for relaxation for quite a while, I should have normally take those 2 hours just for myself.]

    It really hit me that moment …it’s so strange that the first thing that came to my mind at 9 o’clock in the evening was “do something, work, clean, arrange” instead of “do nothing, relax”. And it’s bad, it’s not healthy to forget how to stop for a while, to clear your mind, to relax for an hour or two. Because I’m constantly aware of the many things I need to do for work, but also aware of the need to take a break from time to time, there’s always a battle between my mind and my soul, between what I have to do and what I want to do. And lately, I just forgot to think about what I want….

    I hate that feeling of guilt of not being able to check everything on my ‘to do list’ so I’ve been trying to solve the issue of time, and I’ve came to a conclusion: there’s never going to be enough time for everything! So I should just accept it and do the best I can with what I have.

    I bet some of you feel the same, and try to solve everything. Maybe you too are frustrated when things don’t go your way, when plans are ruined or when simply there’s just not enough time. Maybe you too have problems finding time to relax  or feeling guilty when you’re actually doing it, because why not admit it, there’s always something we should be doing that we don’t really want to… For all of us, just stop!  Sometimes, from stopping for a moment come new ideas, the mind feels fresh and the body ready for a new day. Sometimes, ‘nothing’ is better than ‘something’.

    So, this weekend I did nothing. I just enjoyed the warm weather, my family and a few hours of walking through the town.

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    PhotosSebastian Bacioiu Photography

    Do you have moments like this? Tell me about it in the comments section below. 

    Have a beautiful week Divas,


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