A while ago I had a conversation with a friend about how we react when we feel attracted to a man and why we mess up our relationships by not being true to ourselves.
Imagine this: You meet a pretty guy, there’s a little flirt going on, you have a wonderful first date and bum, you feel the butterflies having a party inside of you. Sounds familiar? I bet you felted too.
The feeling is great, but from now on, there’s a little fool inside of you that is building expectations. If he is a handsome guy and you’re really attracted to him, in your mind he’s already a “could be the one”, even if you don’t recognise it yet. And then the “trouble” begins… Our incurable romantic minds start to project on him the way we imagine him to be, and we don’t really pay attention to details anymore….his details. The more attractive a man is, the more things you’ll lack to see and more things you’ll forgive. If there’s a gesture you dislike, you’ll find excuses for it and you do not judge it with a clear mind. That’s not even fair to the other guys, as they have to do a lot more to even get you out on a date, and if they do finally convince you to go out, you’ll pay attention to every single thing they say or do, isn’t it?
When they say love is blind, they are actually right. I wouldn’t call it love, because you rarely can say you love a man after a few dates, it is first attraction that is making you blind, and if you do really fall in love with him, it will be long until you really see him as he is. On the long term, this is the recipe to relationship disaster.
If it makes you feel any better, men also fall in love with beauty and not with the person, and then they wonder how the money disappeared :)! (I know I’m being mean now). No one is immune to the power of attraction, and while it feels wonderful, we shouldn’t stop paying attention to reality.
Now, I’ll tell you what I told my friend… Next time you meet a pretty guy, first of all stop that big excitement you’re feeling. He’s just a pretty face and nothing more for now. You don’t have to impress him with anything else than yourself, and start paying attention to him, to what he says and what he does. “Judge” him like he was a less pretty one, let him do “the hunt”, and trust me, if it’s meant to be, it will.
You can’t really love anyone for real and have a long term relationship if you don’t love his soul. The pretty face gets older, fatter sometimes :), it loses some of its beauty, the initial attraction fades over time and if the man you see then is not the man you fell in love, maybe somewhere along the way you’ve made a mistake. Next time, try not to!
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