Pregnancy – fairytale or nightmare? Part 2.

UrbanMom. Untold story of motherhood - Chapter 2.

Yesterday I started the chapter on my pregnancy, so today I want to tell you the rest of the first trimester story, a true adventure for me and my family. 🙂

So, with my blood test normal again, we could relax and just focus on controlling the extreme nausea so I could eat and drink at least a little bit.

During all this period of about 7 weeks (which literally felt like 7 months) there were lots of voices telling me to stop taking the meds that were making the nausea bearable, because they will affect the baby in the worst possible way.  This kind on extreme nausea is not something you’ve ever felt before. I was quite used to the nausea because of some stomach problems I used to have, so when I got pregnant I really didn’t fear it at all. I thought “How bad can it be? I’m used to it.” Well, it’s nothing like that, it’s not like the one you feel after eating something bad, it’s a completely different feeling, not just in your stomach, but in your whole body. I discussed the issue with my doctor, and she explain that there is always a risk with any meds during a pregnancy, but it’s a small one comparing to the fact that without the meds, if I would’ve continue the pregnancy under those conditions I was literally risking my life or I had to decide to stop the pregnancy. So, I took my chances, feeling optimistic that nothing bad will happen. Still, those voices were in my head and every time someone else was telling me to stop, I was feeling so guilty and in doubt. I even tried to stop for a day, and after 6-7 rounds of getting everything out, I went to the hospital again. I was telling myself everyday that without the meds I wouldn’t have a child, so I have to continue the treatment. It was my way of dealing with it.

I used to ask my doctor how long will this period last, and at the beginning she was telling me that after the first trimester (12 – 13 weeks) I should be ok. It was all I needed to hear, because I concentrated so much on that term, that every day I was counting the weeks and the days until my 13th week, and every day I was telling myself “Another day gone, only X to go”. After a while she thought it might take longer, considering how I was evolving.  No one believed anymore that it will stop after the first trimester because, as they told me, it could very well last the whole pregnancy, but in very rarely cases. But I believed with all my heart that it will stop on the 13th week. I rejected any other possibility and continue to count the days until the date I considered the end.

It was the last day of the 12th week and I was really sick. I was having a slight rise of temperature because I caught a cold…that was in June by the way :), my head was killing me and of course there are so few options of meds you can take in pregnancy. I went to the hospital very early in the morning because I felt really bad all night, they prescribed something and I went home to sleep. A few hours later I went back to the clinic to take the intravenous treatment as usually and discussed with my doctor if she would allowed me to take the flight to Madrid that evening. You see, before I got pregnant, we planned a trip to Madrid for 3 days. Now, the day had come, everything was paid in advance so we had to decide if we could go or not.

Of course we feared that I’ll vomit all flight, that it will be awful and I will stay in bed every day of that trip, but something was telling me to go. Maybe the money we’ve already spend and that I wouldn’t wanted to lose :)). My doctor was amazing though and after checking me and the baby she told me: “Go, I really think you need this and I’m sure you’ll be ok. Take your meds with you, take my prescription. If anything happens, go to the hospital, show them what I gave you and they’ll know what to do.” That was some kind of medical note that was allowing me to travel under her consent and was stating my condition. Yes, I know, it was crazy for us to do it, but somehow we all knew I needed a change of scenario.

The flight wasn’t so great, but I managed to keep everything inside :). We arrived, checked in and went to sleep. The next day was the first day of the second trimester.  I woke up and felt nothing. Hmmm, we went to the breakfast area and still nothing. After eating something I felt a little bit of nausea but it was nothing compared to what I experienced before. OK, let’s go for a walk. I took my meds with me and decided to take them if I get worse. I didn’t. 🙂 It stopped. I cannot explain how I felt. With each passing hour and each meal that I was keeping inside I was feeling in the seventh heaven again. I could not believe it. It stopped. No one believed it would stop after the first trimester, no one believed it would stop on the first day of the second trimester, only I and it did. I can’t explain why, but I’m convinced that it only stopped on that exact day because I believed with all my heart that it will. And when you believe… miracles happen. 🙂

Girls, at the end of this article on the first trimester, I just want you to know, that no matter how hard it might be, knowing your child is there and at the end of this journey you will be together it gives you incredible power. Don’t think that I didn’t cry, had moments of depression or thinking why me when there are less than 2% women who experience this in the world, and why does this have to be so hard instead of a beautiful journey… So, there are a few chances that you’ll experience my kind of pregnancy, but no matter your own experiences, smooth or not, I haven’t heard one mother saying she regrets getting pregnant. It’ s not easy, sometimes from the moment you decide you want a child to probably the moment she/he is all grown up, but I have to tell you that I’m proud of myself for being able to get over everything that was bad, give birth to her and raise her ever since.  In the end, we moms make miracles…and yes, these miracles scream and throw things around all day, they leave a great mess around and make everything better with a kiss.

Next time, the adventure continues with the second trimester,


Photo source: hereherehere

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